Innovation
For Your Eyes Only
Tobii Technology's "gaze interaction" system enables users to control their computer screens with their eyes. Are they ushering in a new era of human computer interaction?
Does Size Really Matter?
In spite of the constant threat of financial meltdown, companies and governments have shown little interest in abandoning ambitious and extravagant building projects to add skyscrapers to city skylines.
What is the overall effect of technological development?
Business
Beauty at a Price
Animal activism started strong, using controversial campaigns to spur debate, but companies and consumers still diverge in their approach to cosmetic testing
Main Content
App Awards
The good, the bad and the ugly of the world of iPhone applications
When Apple launched the now ubiquitous iPhone for the first time in 2007, the word “application” only surfaced when its up-to-the-minute purchasers were filling out the forms for their mobile service providers. Since the opening of the App Store in 2008 however, the number of these (mostly) pointless chunks of software available for iPhone users with too much time on their hi-tech hands has smashed Moore’s Law and grown to over 300,000.
Recent figures released by Apple, in the wake of the 10 billionth download from the App Store on the 22nd January, have revealed the most popular apps of the past 2 years; but what about those less-well-known (but no less worthy) Apps on the market? Which download can cure your chronic bladder problems? Which can get you fired or divorced even when you’re neither at work nor with your spouse? Voici the App awards 2011.
Most Popular
According to the figures mentioned above, the all-time top free iPhone App is (relatively unsurprisingly) the Facebook App. A somewhat self-explanatory piece of software, this App allows iPhone users, obviously not content with being able to diddle away their days commenting, tagging and stalking on Facebook using their laptops, to do all these things from the comfort of basically anywhere. On the other hand, the all-time top paid App is Doodle Jump, an incredibly primitive (compared to some of the technology floating around today) but “insanely addictive” game which is vaguely reminiscent of Space Invaders.
Most Useful
Why is it that whenever coffee is the last thing on your mind you stumble upon five Starbucks pointlessly located on the same street but when you really need a piddle there isn’t a public toilet in sight? No longer a problem with the Toilet Finder App, which will quickly find you all the lavatories, luxurious or loathsome, in the vicinity. No more having to buy an overpriced mocha-frappa-cappa-cino just so you can empty your bladder.
Also worth a mention Google Earth; won’t prevent you getting lost but at least you can pretend to know which way you’re going.
Most Innovative
The Sleep Cycle Alarm Clock App does not provide the usual alarm service. Rather than that shamelessly old-fashioned “set-an-alarm-time-and-then-get-up-at-that-time” procedure, this App somehow analyses your sleep patterns and then wakes you up during your lightest sleep phase; “a natural way to wake up when you feel rested and relaxed” according to its website. A tad gimmicky and potentially problematic (you wouldn’t stay friends long with a partner who woke you up at 4 o’ clock every morning because this was your “optimum waking-time”, would you?), but unquestionably innovative.
Also worth a mention Bubble Ball; a relatively mundane game, but it makes the innovative list because not only was it one of last January’s most downloaded Apps, but it was single-handedly designed by a 14-year old Utah nerd, sorry, boy.
Most Annoying
There are quite a few contenders for the grand title of “most annoying age range”; babies and toddlers cry and complain too much, so do the elderly, and middle-age men who try to manage their mid-life crises by dressing like the Fonz are a danger to society. However, perhaps the most universally disdained step on the age pyramid is that of the hormonally heterogeneous and anti-authoritarian teenagers. The Annoy-A-Teen App, however, will sort out any problem you might have with these pubescent nuisances; simply switch it on and it releases a high-pitched frequency which only teenagers can hear, leaving them covering their ears in pain and you (assuming you’re not a teenager) rubbing your sadistic hands together with delight.
Also worth a mention iFart; no explanation needed.
Most Expensive
If you’re rich enough enough to be able to waste $999 on an App, then the iVip Black is for you. This posh piece of software will keep you updated on where to wine, dine and be seen in the world of VIPs, as well as offering you priority seating in your favourite snooty restaurants and complimentary upgrades in your celebrity hotels of choice. The catch? Apart from the fact that it costs 999 times more than most Apps, you have to subsequently prove that your net worth makes you worthy of membership; only those with an income of over a million pounds sterling are accepted.
Also worth a mention The I am Rich App, which was also priced at $999, was removed from the App Store after it emerged that 8 people had bought what was essentially a glorified screensaver.
Most Pointless
With over 300,000 Apps available for download there is some quite considerable competition for the title of most pointless. However, Hold On, a “game” which involves timing how long you can keep a button on your iPhone pushed down, just shades it in terms of utter uselessness. Even if the App’s designers slightly redeem themselves by having the sense of irony to market it in the “productivity” section of Apple’s App Store, Hold On is only a smart investment if you are training to compete in the World Index Finger Stamina competition. Which doesn’t actually exist so don’t buy it.
Also worth a mention Although this App would paradoxically also be worth a mention in a list of “most fun” iPhone applications, it is also one of the most useless. The Phonesaber App turns your iPhone into a Jedi weapon, allowing you to make those impossible-to-describe-in-words (perhaps electrically humming?) lightsaber sounds from the Star Wars movies.
Most Wacky
Have you ever had an urge to pop somebody else’s spots? Although if you answered yes to that question you would suffer from the medical condition known as “pathological grossness”, there is an App that will avoid the awkwardness of asking your best friend if you can burst his blackheads; Pimple Popper. This App projects an image of an acne-addled face on to the screen, which you can then proceed to clear of zits by “squeezing” (or rather, making a vague squeezing action on the touchscreen) wherever you see one.
Also worth a mention iBeer; this App simulates the action of drinking a beer by displaying on the screen a frosty glass of brew which disappears as you tilt it towards your mouth. Also a definite candidate in the pointless section.
Most likely to get you into trouble
Although it has never been diagnosed as a medical condition, some people continually encounter the urge, when drunk, to call numbers in their phone book for no better reason than to shout alcohol-induced abuse. Fortunately, the Drunk Dialler App now does this for you; all you have to do is shake your iPhone a little and it helpfully dials a random recipient at which you can spout nonsense. Just remember to remove bosses, parents, local parish priests etc. from the list of possible contacts when you’re configuring the App.
Also worth a mention The iGun application is understandably unpopular amongst pacifist and anti-gun groups; the App allows users to transform their iPhones into a range of firearms complete with ultra-realistic sound effects and target practices. The age restriction? 9+.