Health
Healthiest Lifestyle in Europe
Slow Food versus Fast Food, and the changes we should make to our diets and lifestyles…
I’d Rather Stay Here
Learning to live with phobias is a common social challenge. Active ways of treatment can help
Manipulating Food for Everyone
As global warming decreases crop yields and population growth increases the number of hungry mouths, genetically modified food is gaining momentum as a way to fight global hunger
How does the eurozone crisis affect your life?
Main Content
True Love, True Lust
To avoid becoming the proverbial cat lady, keep sexual partners at a low and look for love online?
Singles are constantly told that there are plenty of fish in the sea or that there is no need to fret, your soul mate is out there, just waiting to be found. The often spoken clichés can serve as a comfort to those suffering from a recently broken heart after yet another unsuccessful stint in the dating world, but the realities of contemporary society are proving to be slightly more grim.
The sexual revolution is generally associated with the late 1960s and early 1970s, yet its repercussions have had an impact on the way singles today think about relationships. Casual dating, hook-ups and the ever popular friends with benefits are prevalent not just on college campuses. An increasing number of adults find the lack of commitment of such options alluring.
According to a study published by sociologist Anthony Paik of the University of Iowa, some individuals simply do not perceive heaving a steady partner as rewarding and genuinely prefer to have a no strings attached sort of fling. Not necessarily problematic in themselves, the casual relationships begin to pose a potential threat when one person involved becomes convinced that eventually the ‘It’s Complicated’ facebook status will turn into ‘In a Relationship.’ Such expectations, Paik argues, are unrealistic though not altogether impossible.
“In the casual dating category, some people think they’re headed for a long-term relationship, but there are also people who are only in it for sex. It basically brings ‘players’ and ‘non-players’ together,” Paik said.
The hopeless romantic and the Casanova are far from the ideal pair portrayed through the pages of Jane Austen, but are encouraged to linger thanks to the less then objective advice they receive from those closest to them. Singles looking for permanence become more likely to cling to false beliefs that one day their casual sexual rendezvous will turn into a deep commitment, even in cases when this is not reflective of the truth. As Paik found through the research conducted with the participation of 18 to 60 year olds, the odds are against such notions and diminish exponentially with each sexual partner. Those who had more sexual partners reported that short-term relationships are favourable and they did not find any potential additional value in switching to the long-term option.
Paik’s study carries the possibility of putting a damper on any single’s spirits, but he concludes that the possibility of falling in love still exists, it is just very much dependent on the individual needs of a person. If a relationship beyond the casual is not to someone’s taste, they are unlikely to change their mind. The result corresponds to previous studies analysing the success of relationships formed via the internet. Particularly in the early phases of social networking and dating websites, sceptics argued that the new forum is less personal and unlikely to allow for deep connections. In 2010, the online arena is received more warmly by people who are still on the quest for love. The determination does not seem to be ill placed, as Michael J. Rosenfeld of the University of Stanford reported from his study that 82.4% of adults who had internet access at home also had a romantic partner.
“The internet is not simply a new and more efficient way to keep in touch with our existing networks; rather the internet is a new kind of social intermediary that may reshape the kinds of partners and relationships we have,” Rosenfeld said.
The fact is that those who actively seek out a relationship online are of a different mindset then those who actively make eyes at someone across the bar on a Friday night. The idea isn’t that one cannot overlap with the other, but rather that those who are consistently seeking casual encounters are unlikely to make the effort to look for a partner they are compatible with via the internet. Indirectly this makes the internet a ‘safer’ place to meet potential significant others because of the all important shared interest of being in a relationship.
The most significant finding of both studies is that the playing field has changed and not all of the players have geared up for the right sport. Just as a footballer has no place on the rugby field, an individual looking for a committed relationship should probably not answer that two in the morning booty call.